666

Wake up this morning to the enthusiastic (some might say fanatical) preachings of a minister emanating from a radio outside my window. He sounds like a sort of scary version of the man who introduces Randy Watson in "Coming To America". As he delivers his sermon, I can't help feeling he's making it all sound a bit apocalyptic, or, at the very least, "Friday the 13th": "He's coming to get you! He's coming for you! He's coming for your wife! He's coming for your children! He's coming for your mother!!"; then rather bizarrely: "Throw out your water! Throw out all of your water!!" A bit more old testament than new. Whoever's listening to it seems to be getting the message, and the preacher commandeers the airwaves for quite some time.

I received some mail today! C has given me an invitation to a family wedding. "Just fill in your name in the blank bit" she tells me. The son (the groom) doesn't have the money to pay for the bash, and is relying on the family to sort it out. The last few nights has seen the extended family trying to reach a compromise on what should happen. After the first nights peace summit, NOBODY was going. "What did the groom say at the meetings?" I ask. "He was at Limbe, on his honeymoon" I am told. "But he's not even married yet!" I exclaim. C replies: "I know, it is our tradition." Sounds like divine confidence to me.

You have to love families. Take one of the most important occasions in two people's lives and then flog all enjoyment out of it, making it as political and as impersonal as possible. Not having the money for the wedding doesn't really help things either. It is open encouragement for meddling. Still, I hope they will be very happy together. The wedding is this Saturday, and I need to buy a present. I will also need to look for a tie. I don't even have a pair of shoes. I can see into my crystal ball now: At the wedding reception, the priest (looking at me) ordains one of his flock to: " Give that pale looking tramp over there some food, and move him along quickly." "That's one of the guests, Father."

I enjoy the late afternoon taking a stroll down the main lane of the market. In keeping with the size of Town, it's quite small, but has all kinds of local produce. Fish is very popular here, being near the sea, and it's often smoked. I have eaten fish nearly every day since I arrived, and I'm a once a season man when it comes to things with gills. I don't have the heart to tell C as it's so much cheaper than any other form of animal. When in Rome.... I just cry myself to sleep after the eighth day, and, hey, something else appears for a day instead. Beef tonight. I swear I have dreamed of a Gammon steak the last three nights in a row.

Other produce on display which is less traumitising for me include Okre, pulses, (big, hot looking) Peppers, Yams, Coco Yams, "Irish Potatoes" (don't know where this came from!), Ginger, dried Crayfish, Onions, and Sugarcane. Sweet corn has arrived, as have guavas very recently. The sweetcorn is being burnt to a crisp on drums all over Africa as I write- It's the way they eat it here. The Guavas are being harvested from every possible source- I saw a guy precariously wedged in a very flimsy looking tree in his garden the other day. The rest of the family where standing at the bottom shouting how much better a job they could be making of it. It was quite funny.

Random local saying or word of today: "Bad Fashion!"

Translation: What someone will say to reproach you after you've made a social foxy paw (i.e passed wind).